


''Once in a lifetime (a very serious, very emotional look into the life of Joe Biden and his first date with Washijou Tanji)''

by Crybaby_Armitage_Hux



Category: Haikyuu!!, Political RPF, Presidential Election - Fandom, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/M, First Dates, Grumpy Old Men, Joke Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death, No Smut, Not Not-Safe-For-Work, Written on a Dare, except uh ?? Washi takes off his shirt, old men falling in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crybaby_Armitage_Hux/pseuds/Crybaby_Armitage_Hux
Summary: Joe Biden wasn't a man who usually went on dates - especially not with men - however after Jill's death he decided that a little experimentation never hurt anybody, right ?
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, (past), Jill Biden/Joe Biden, Joe Biden/Barack Obama, Washijou Tanji/Joe Biden
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	''Once in a lifetime (a very serious, very emotional look into the life of Joe Biden and his first date with Washijou Tanji)''

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as 500 words, then I got carried away and now we're here. I kinda rushed the date because I wanted to get this fic over and done with though, and somehow it's still 2k words

The silent of mornings were always a pain. Not because of the silence,no that wasn't a problem, the silence was something Joe was fond of. What he wasn't fond of though, was the fact that it reminded him of how lonely he trully was. Ever since Jill's death he wasn't the same man. 

He held his book ineptly as he peered out of the window, observing the locals, as he sipped languidly sipped his water. The liquid wasn't as refreshing as he wished, sliding smoothly down his throat, leaving something to be desired. It was a sunny day, which meant that most couples had decided to have picnics outside, nonetheless it was too warm to go out and do anything productive - just thinking about all the sweat his body would produce was convincing enough to make a man stay away from warmth that was lurking outside. The speck of air flowing through the window was enough to jerk him out of thought.  
Deciding that mourning Jill wasn't something he wanted to do in the open, Joe returned to his bedroom. The bedroom itself wasn't anything out of the ordinary - a beige king sized bed with a nightstand and a star wars lamp right beside it, a simple wardrobe full of his suits (and Jill's yet-to-be-touched clothing) directly opposite the bed and a TV which was mounted on the wall right above the bookshelf that hasn't been used in months. One day,after a particularly unpleasant day, Joe took it upon himself to get rid of all paintings and pictures that graced the room. It was a difficult decision - people usually kept those as a reminder of what once was - and it wasn't an enjoyable experience, however the pictures worked as a reminder and couldn't be ignored, therefore had to be put in a drawer. It's not like he found pleasure in getting rid of every reminder of his wife that was left in the house. Trying to find anything to distract himself with, Joe picked up his phone and opened the Grindr app he has installed after a especially rought night. 

Of course he couldn't just use it freely - he was a politician after all - which is why he always used an alias. ''Hoagy Jiden'' - he felt free as Hoagy. Like he could do and say anything and it wouldn't have any significance in his life, which was another reason he enjoyed using the app. Simply talking to strangers - sexting,as the teenagers call it - was the only entertaining thing in his miserable life. He didn't quite enjoy the idea of 'hooking up' with strangers, therefore sending a few risque messages felt like a safer and more satisfying option. There was a particular person he found entertaining to talk to, and that was a man that went by the name of ''Washijo Tanji''. The man wasn't too much of a looker - his light coloured hair was styled back and the thick, bold eyebrows were distracting from the rest of his face. From the pictures provided, the man was quite muscular - in a twinksh way more than a bodybuilder way. To be frank,he didn't look that bad for his age, but it wasn't as if Joe was getting younger either.  
He enjoyed talking to the man - not because he was particularly interesting - it was more about him actually showing interest in what Joe had to say. They've been chatting for about four months now, which was the longest Joe have kept anybody around besides his wife and Barack (but he didn't want to think about either of them). He never really swinged for the other team, but something about Washi - his chosen nickname for the man in question, alongside other nicknames such as Doggie and Washi Tape - was interesting. He wasn't pushy, he was gentle and he was a quite interesting soul. From what the man told Joe, he worked as a coach for a volleyball team,which wasn't the most interesting job but hey, it payed well, so who could complain ?

Tonight was different though, he noticed that Washi has left him on read on three messages - each one from a previous day. Joe's mind began to race as he started to come up with excuses as to why the man wouldn't respond; maybe he was just busy ! Maybe he opened his phone and forgot to answer ? Maybe he didn't hit send ! Or simply, he just didn't want to talk. With a shaky hand, Joe began to write his next message very carefully: ''Hey Washi, everything alright ? Haven't heard from you today and got a bit worried - haha, guess I'm silly like that :-)'' He put the phone, screen down, on the pillow and stared at the wall. He just waited there, hoping for an answer. After what felt like ages, which was less than a minute, he saw his phone buzz. He picked it up eagarly and started reading the message ''Hello my dear Hoagy, I'm all good ! Was wondering if you're free anytime this weekend ? I've made a reservation at a restaurant and don't want to be hanging out alone. Would be a pleasure to meet you'' Joe's heart started pounding like crazy. Talking to strangers is one thing, meeting them is another. The pros of the meeting would be well,finally meeting the man he's been talking to for months, however the cons would be having to tell him his real name and explain his situation. After a long thought, Joe decided to say yes and just deal with the consequences later. Their conversation went back to normal after that, and now Joe had a date for Saturday at 6pm in a fancy restaurant in town. This would either be a disaster or the best thing that has happened to him since Barack left.

It was 5:50pm on a Saturday and Joe was waiting outside. The anxiety made it feel as if he was standing there for hours on end, with nobody to talk to. That was until he saw Washi coming up to him, his heart racing faster than it has in months - which for a man his age meant that he was either going to drop dead right there or have a heart attack in about an hour or so. 

''Well well well. Hello there Hoagy'' Washi spoke out. His voice was way raspier than Joe was expecting, it was also a lot higher than what he imagined, but he wasn't complaining. 

''Hello Washi ! How you doin' ? You ready?'' Joe's words came out way with way more enthusiasm than he wanted,making him sound desperate.

''I'm good and as ready as I can be'' The two men began to walk into the restaurant and take their seats.  
They were located at the back in a private section, which was lit purple due to the luminous light located right above the table. The restaurant's design itself was lovely, the walls were a deep navy and the table's were a stark white. The shape of the table reminded Joe of an almond - Barack's favourite nut, however this wasn't about Barack. No. He left. Joe had to remind himself that he was here with Washi and that Barack shouldn't be his focus. 

They sat in silence as they chose what food to eat - Washi chose some pesto pasta with a slice of chocolate cake as desert, to which Joe ordered pasta with red sauce and a piece of ice cream cake. Both of them made up their mind as to what wine to pick and decided to begin their ''date''.

''So you said you were a coach ? How's that going ?'' Joe started,realizing that Washi wasn't going to break the awkward silence anytime soon.

''Oh it's all good. The kid's are a bit of a pain, but what can I say ? I care for and about them. Some don't understand what limits are - pushing themselves way too hard way too fast, but other than that they're a good group. Wouldn't change it for a different one. How bout you though ? You're in politics aren't you?'' Joe's expression turned into pure confusion, he never mentioned anything about what he does or who he is ''Oh my, you really think I'm that dumb? Can't really run for president and expect people not to know who you are. Even if you go by a different name. Hoagy's nice,by the way, I've got no clue where you got that from but it's nice.'' 

Joe was flabbergasted, of course he'd know who he is, how could he not ? His face was everywhere in the news. Oh well, at least he didn't have to lie anymore. 

''You're a smart one. Not many people have realized it was me, you know. Got the occassional 'You look like Joe' comment but usually the 'Oh I get that a lot' made them stop wondering. I mean, why would I even be on an app like that ? Plus nobody knows where I live, so saying that Joe lived somewhere else was easy'' He cringed anytime he had to mention himself in the third person. Yes lying was bad, but he didn't need another controversy, especially so soon after his wife's death. But Washi was smart, he wasn't like those other twinks who either were too dumb to figure it out, or who figured it out and wanted something out of it.  
Their food came and they chatted a bit more about work, Washi explaining the rules of Volleyball to Joe and Joe explaining to him how hard politics are. It was a very pleasant evening and neither of the pair wanted it to end. It's not like they had to end it, they could stay there for as long as they wanted, in fact, they did order a second round of chocolate cake to keep them company.

After they were done with their food, Joe decided to be a gentleman for once and told Washi to come over to his house.  
They both sat on the bed, just laying there in each others arms for a moment, that was until Joe spoke-

''Let me go change into something more comfortable''

Whats Joe meant by 'something more comfortable' was his shirt with Steve from minecraft which read ''Like a BOSS !!'' on it. He realized that the shirt had a slight ketchup stain from the chicken nuggets he ate before the date, but it wasn't something a little bit of water wouldn't take out. He immediately sat back on the bed and looked at Washi.

''I don't know where you came from, I don't know where you will go, but I'm glad you're here with me, with your cotton shirt on, Joe'' Washi said as he came closer to Joe. Joe hasn't been so close to a man in months, he couldn't have, not after-

''Stop'' Joe said, grabbing Washi's hand which was in the middle of tucking Joe's hair behind his ears. ''I can't do this. It reminds me too much of....him'' Joe's eyes began to water ''I'm so sorry Washi I didn't mean to - I don't - It's Barack. He used to do this. And I'm over him, I promise I am, it's just. It still hurts.''

''Hey it's alright, Joe it's alright'' Washi said,standing to look at Joe from below him ''I'll go to the bathroom to freshen up, alright? You can calm down a bit'' what followed was a little 'okay' from Joe. Washi made his way to the bathroom.

As Washijou walked into the bathroom, he was met with a very tame shade of blue. The walls were blank and there were a couple of shelves. He splashed his face with some water from the sink and wondered what kind of things Joe was into. His house was so plain,there was nothing in the bathroom besides a bunch of shampoo bottles and a box on the shelf right above the toilet. The shampoo bottled we're all apple scented, which Washijou found a little too fruity for him - he prefered roses rather than fruits - but he could get used to the smell. As Washi was began to take a closer look at the box, taking it into his hands and examining it, the door opened and scared him. He accidentally drop the little box into the toilet, not realizing the toilet had an automatic flush, whatever the contents of the box were, were now gone. He looked back at to what scared him,realizing that a dog has walked in. That wasn't what he was expecting. He pat the dog on his way out and went back into Joe's bedroom.

''Hey what was in the little box above the toilet?'' He said, worried it might've been something important.

''My wife's ashes'' Washi immediately decided to end the conversation. He'll figure how to explain what happened later. For now, he moved closer to Joe, sitting right beside him.  
''How are you feeling?'' He said as he started to take his shirt off, massaging the back of Joe's back immediately. He could see the man tense up, but didn't think anything of it.

''I'm- '' Joe stood up ''I'm just a bit hot. Let me. Give me a second let me -'' He said as he opened the window and immediately jumped out of it. Washijou immediately stood up and saw Joe running away in nothing but his Kylo Ren boxers and minecraft shirt.  
Weird. He dressed himself again, found the dog's leash and the dog, and decided to take the dog on the walk, walking out of Joe's home.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm genuinely so sorry if you had to read this but hey, at least now you can say that you've read a Joe Biden fanfic ! Yay for you.


End file.
